Things To Do When You’re 30 That Will Make Life Better at 50

I stumbled across and article by Beth Buczynski about things to do in your 30s so that life is better at 50 and thought to myself... shouldn't we always keep in mind that we should do things now to make our life better later and why is that we struggle to do them..

I once noticed that we sometimes believe that sacrifice is losing something.. but I really believe it is letting go of something less for something better.. you should always think of will I not give away my broken down car for a nice super car if I had the choice?

Anyhow here is the artikle with some extra things I thought that could add to my 50s..

Someone asked a bunch of 50+ people about things they wished they had done in their younger years. The answers are incredibly smart, and in most cases, simple. If you've recently hit the big 3-0, this is your homework.



1. DON’T SMOKE. IF YOU'VE STARTED, STOP IMMEDIATELY.

“If you could see me now, I’m down on my poor, crackling knees begging you to at least consider stopping smoking,” writes Quora user Cyndi Perlman Fink. It’s expensive, smells gross, and is 100% guaranteed to cause health problems. Want to be cancer-free at 50? Stop smoking.

2. STOP EATING CRAP.

“You can make a lot of money in 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s,…90s to buy the whole world when you are at age 50 or beyond,” writes Quora user Sireesha Chilakamarri. “But, you cannot buy your health. Give up on fast food right now at age 30.”


3. MAINTAIN (OR REPAIR) RELATIONSHIPS WITH PARENTS AND SIBLINGS.

“…Chances are you’ve come across ideas and changed in ways that mean you don’t see eye to eye with them on many issues. But then – that’s part of what a family can help with – to learn to get along with people you don’t agree with on many issues,” writes Quora user Robert Walker.”I come from a family which is very argumentative. If you didn’t understand the situation you might at times think we hate each other. But it isn’t like that at all. Rather, we free to speak our minds because the family ties are so strong.”

4. STOP GOING OUT IN THE SUN WITHOUT SUNBLOCK.

“I was stupid. I didn’t listen. Do you want wrinkles and thin skin from sun damage like I have and do you want bruises from just lightly touching the side of a box and having your skin peel off? Go ahead, enjoy lying in the sun without sunblock,” writes Quora user Cyndi Perlman Fink.

5. EXERCISE REGULARLY.

Build an active lifestyle now, and when you’re 50 you won’t be stuck in a Rascal. “Don’t gain weight. Exercise. Keep your weight at a normal level that’s good for your body,” continues Cyndi Perlman Fink. “Weight does all kinds of bad things for you body. I’ve been fat, I’ve been thin, thin is healthier.”


6. START SAVING MONEY. EVEN IF IT’S JUST A TINY BIT.

“Save money. I know this is a boring, trite, and unsexy suggestion, but it’s true,” writes Quora user Cliff Gilley. “In your 30s, the average person has a lot of disposable income, some of which can almost always easily be set aside for use later in life. Plus, building the habit of saving early means you’ll continue it further down the line.”

7. LEARN TO BE CONTENT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE.

“…Happiness is what matters far more than worldly success,” writes Quora user Robert Walker. “If you are content with what you have then you may be a bit less likely to end up a millionaire, but you will have a happier life. And if you do become a wealthy person – is no reason why not, you’ll be a more happy, fulfilled and productive wealthy person.”

8. DON’T DELAY PURSUING YOUR LIFE GOALS.

“Want to buy a house? Have kids? Write a book? Get a second degree or advanced degree? Change your career? Learn to play a new musical instrument? Learn to cook gourmet meals? Try scuba diving? Run for public office? Start a business and be self-employed? Then start today,” writes Quora user Bill Karwin. “It’s easy to put things off. “I’ll get to that someday.” But it’s really true that time starts accelerating as you enter your 30’s, and it keeps accelerating. The time that you’ll get around to those dreams should be now.”

9. GET SOME SLEEP.

“Use stellar sleep hygiene,” writes Quora user Nan Waldman. “A dark room or sleep shades will block out light. No bright screens before bedtime. Go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time.”

10. TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH.

“…Go to the freaking dentist already,” writes Quora user Caroline Zelonka. “Get your little cavities fixed as they come up. Unlike many body health issues, dental problems only get worse — and things like crowns and implants are uncomfortable, time-consuming and expensive (like, close to five figures per tooth for an extraction, implant and crown). If you have a good savings and income stream, the bills won’t be the painful thing — but there’s no getting around the pain and the time suck.”


11. COLLECT MEMORIES INSTEAD OF THINGS.

You are the sum of your experiences. Don’t wake up when you’re 50 and realize that you’ve wasted life gathering possessions. Memories won’t depreciate and can’t be burned in a fire. (Inspired by Quora user Richard Careaga).

12. GIVE SOMETHING BACK.

“Give to others so you feel the goodness that service brings,” writes Quora user Nan Waldman. “However you give, do it with your full heart, soul, and effort. Expect nothing in return.”

13. BE CURIOUS AND DO ONE THING THAT SCARES YOU EVERY DAY.

“Get out of the house and have an honest-to-God adventure right now,” writes Quora user Mary Leek. “Make it as big as you can possibly manage, take lots of pictures, throw caution to the wind, take on the risk, grab the brass ring. If possible, include someone you’re close to – make a BIG memory. It has to be more than jumping out of an airplane – it needs to be measured in days, not hours or minutes. You’ll still be smiling about it when you’re old and creaky, I promise. I am.”

14. READ AT LEAST 10 BOOKS A YEAR.

“Gee I wish I spent more time watching TV and playing video,” said no 50 year-old ever. Your brain never stops growing, so exercise it with media that matters. (Inspired by Quora user Vanitha Muthukumar).

15. TRAVEL. AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, WHENEVER YOU CAN.

“Traveling will change you like little else can. It will put you in places that will force you to care for issues that are bigger than you,” writes Jeff Goins. “It’s about experiencing true risk and adventure so you don’t have to live in fear for the rest of your life. And…inspiring others to step out of that fear, too.”

16. LEARN TO MEDITATE.

“The list of benefits is endless, it only costs you a small amount of time a day, the change in your life and the people you love will be amazing,” writes Quora user Rens De Nobel. “And compared to ten years ago, there are long lists of scientific studies to back it up.”

17. DO YOU.

Trust me, the day your body starts to show the signs of wear & tear, you no longer see any fun in partying or trying to impress people around you,” writes Quora user Satish Kumar Grandhi. “You need to start your path of self discovery right now to become stronger by the time you are 50.”

18. KEEP A JOURNAL.

“You WILL forget more of your precious memories that you’ll remember,” writes Quora user Mark Crawley. “Your written records will entertain and endear in your future (wish I had). Your computer should make this archiving all the easier to implement and retain / recall. Put files on memory sticks with photos. Your kids (or surviving spouse) may someday love you for it.”

19. BECOME A HOMEOWNER.

“Buy a house, it’ll be nearly paid for by the time you’re 50,” writes Quora user Liz Read.

20. TAKE CARE OF YOUR FRIENDS.

“Choose people who make you feel like you already are your best self, who challenge you by their example, and who you genuinely enjoy,” explains Nan Waldman. “Nurture them. Laugh with them. Be silly too. Contribute to their survival and enjoyment of life. Take the time every week to be in touch.”

21. BE MORE GRATEFUL

Before you get out of bed (or before you fall asleep) make a list in a notebook of five things you are grateful for in your life today. It might be the birdsong you hear on waking, or the comfortable bed you sleep in at night. It might be that you can glimpse the sun shining through your curtains. It might be knowing that you are moments away from a cup of tea. Keep this up every day for the next four weeks and notice how your life changes. (It will by the way!)

22. LEARN TO SAY "NO."

If you have had trouble saying no to people in the past, spend an entire day where you say no to almost every offer or request you receive. "Do you have a minute?" the telemarketer asks you. "No, actually I don't." Do you want the medium soda for only 1 cent more? "No, I want the small."


23. LEARN TO SAY "YES."

Similarly, spend an entire day where you say yes to anything short of, "Do you want any of this heroin?" See where that takes you -- it won't be as interesting as the Jim Carrey movie about saying yes, but it will change your perspective.

Animal Rights vs Human Rights vs Humanitarianism vs Organic vs Environmentalism

There is so many rights and believers these days that fights for something that you can get lost. We all fight for something that we think is right, but is it really, I always had questions for these extremest and want them all in a room one day to fight it out... WWF will have nothing on this. To start of let my get each definition of the competitors:

• Humanitarianism 

• Organic movement 

• Animal rights movement 

• Human rights

• Environmentalism

At the bottom I have quoted each from Wikipedia and what they stand for.

So let's start stating the flaws that each thinking might have, and also the answers I want from them, if they are true to what they stand for.

Let us start with Organic movement. Farming with without genetics, the issue I have are as follows if the whole world moved to organic farming what will be the outcome? There are a lot of pro and cons of organic farming, but my main concern is the land if you just google "how much more land does organic farming require" you will see a lot of articles that states it ranges from 25% to 84% more land is required. so if this is true and we need At least 1.2 acres or 0.5 hectare per person is required and agricultural land covers 33% (13,812,040 square kilometers) of the world's land area organic farming and with a world population of 7.22 Billion people will mean that this figures must go to the range of ..

• Agricultural land will increase between 17 265 050 to  25 414 153 km
• Human requirements will increase between 0.63 to  0.92 hectare

This means that if 7.22 Billion people will require land that goes from 36 100 000 to between 45 125 000 - 66 424 000 so currently we already cant feed all the people on the plant by 22 287 960 sqkm farmland and if we all go organic the figures goes between 27 Mil or 41 Mil. well the earth is 149 Mil square km so there is space I guess, but the problem is farmland cannot be everywhere so we need to take away 33% of desert land (49.17 Mil sqkm) so we have then 100 Mil left and if we take 41 Mil of Farmland it leaves us with 59 Mil to live on with the animals and forests and buildings. Now lets bring in the Human Right, Animal Rights and environmentalist people in the equation. If we cannot kill animals and there is currently 24 Billion livestock and 50 Billion in others we will have to live in ratio:

• 18 % Humans (10 Mil)
• 26 % Livestock (15 Mil)
• 54 % Other Animals (32 Mil)

I am making assumption that ever species takes up the same size of land requirements and that we can live anywhere in the world excluding dessert, so Iceland and north pole is also in this. Now with not killing humans we have a 2% (144 Mil) growth rate per year so in 10 years we will need space for 1.4 Billion people more, how much will the animals need, we can't eat the livestock and we can't keep the animal growth in control so that is a problem... space here we come!!!!

Ok so that is one question I have for the organic people with the others now lets look at another issue I have, we cannot kill people who has killed and we must make love not war. if you research you will see that society has a very high rate of kids ending up like their parents (not personalities, but economic and morals) you have a 60% chance, so taking that into mind lets take a 50% ratio of good and not so good people, So in 100 population there is 50 people that contribute positive to society and 50 that don't lets say 10 people are killers and on average they kill 2 people which means that we can lose 10 positive and 10 negative people in the world. Now lets say everyone have 2 children there will be then 40 good children and 40 not so good, but lets say the killers only can kill 10 people and they are all good? this means that there will be 40 good kids and 50 not so good which means that we sit with a ratio of 90 good and 100 not so good now you see where I am going if this keeps on happening and the not so good keeps populating the positive contribution on society will fade away.
If I look at the first scenario we will see that the killers are alive and will also give the 100 - 90 ratio. This means that without death penalty we are killing of a linage of good people and allowing not so good people to growth... mmm now I wonder why we ask why is there so much crime, rape and killing in the world... then why do we kill animals that killed a human? we say that if they killed once they will kill again... if we are animals shouldn't this apply to us then too?

Now my last question is for Environmentalism... if we go green, by not using paper, then shouldn't we then not use any forms of energy? This PC am I writing on and the servers that this blog is hosted on, don't the plants that generate the electricity use up space and also pollute the planet? The green cars are build from pollution plants, the energy they use are from pollution plants, and if we say solar and wind and water, then I go to my first question, doesn't this use more land space too?

I do not have the answers, but I think we need to start looking at a balance and reality that no matter what cause we are fighting for our thinking is fundamental flawed, if we put all the right people in one room can we think of a win-win scenario where people can eat meat and veggies, we everyone has a right to a point? Where there is compromise to live as part of nature and society?

I am a balance thinker for me I have no rights, I earn the rights, if I want light and food I need to work and pay for them, if I don't want to work I have no right to any of that. If I take the right away of a living person I have no right to live either. If I mentally unstable and cannot afford kids, why would I have a right to bring a person into this world that I will screw up so bad that they cannot contribute to society? If my kids have the right to education, then why do I have 6 and cannot afford to sent them to school and give them the best chance to have an education? If someone works hard and have an idea that can make them rich, what right do I have to demand their wealth? why don't I get off my lazy ass and do the same? If I am unhealthy and overweight I do not demand the fit and healthy people too look after me and let me get skinny, I get up, eat right and exercise, I ask them to help me were I am not good in exchange to help them were I am good at. Why don't we?

Humanitarianism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanitarianism)

"In its most general form, humanitarianism is an ethic of kindness, benevolence, and sympathy extended universally and impartially to all human beings. Humanitarianism has been an evolving concept historically but universality is a common element in its evolution. No distinction is to be made in the face of suffering or abuse on grounds of gender, sexual orientation, tribe, caste, age, religion, ability, or nationality.

Humanitarianism can also be described as the acceptance of every human being for plainly just being another human, ignoring and abolishing biased social views, prejudice, and racism in the process, if utilized individually as a practiced viewpoint, or mindset.

In armed conflict and beyond, humanitarianism is the organized efforts to alleviate suffering and protect non-combatants, such as the wounded or civilians, and is protected under international humanitarian law."

Organic movement (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organic_movement)

"The organic movement broadly refers to the organizations and individuals involved worldwide in the promotion of organic farming. It started around the first half of the 20th century, when modern large-scale agricultural practices began to appear.

The organic movement began in the early 1900s in response to the shift towards synthetic nitrogen fertilizers and pesticides in the early days of industrial agriculture by a relatively small group of farmers. These farmers came together in various associations: Demeter International of Germany, which encouraged biodynamic farming and began the first certification program, the Australian Organic Farming and Gardening Society, the Soil Association of the United Kingdom, and Rodale Press in the United States, along with others. In 1972 these organizations joined to form the International Federation of Organic Agriculture Movements (IFOAM). In recent years, environmental awareness has driven demand and conversion to organic farming. Some governments, including the European Union, have begun to support organic farming through agricultural subsidy reform. Organic production and marketing have grown at a fast pace.

The term “organic” can be broadly described as food grown without the assistance of man-made chemicals. The beginnings of the organic movement can be traced back to the beginning of the 1800s. In 1840 Justus Von Liebig developed a theory of mineral plant nutrition. Liebig believed that manure could be directly substituted for mineral salts. Many years later in 1910, preceding the First World War, chemists Fritz Haber and Carl Bosch developed an ammonia synthesis process, making use of nitrogen from the atmosphere. This form of ammonia had already been used to manufacture explosives, so after the war, it was implemented into the fertilization of agriculture.

Organic food was initially seen as a fad observed by the eccentric few, however today it has become more widespread. Organics have come to represent a safe house in a disturbing world where food quality and safety are constantly under siege” (Blythman). Today, whole foods stores have captured a significant share of the grocery shopping market, specifically, Whole Foods Market, Wild Oats, and others."

Animal rights movement (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_rights_movement)

"The animal rights movement, sometimes called the animal liberation movement, animal personhood, or animal advocacy movement, is a social movement which seeks an end to the rigid moral and legal distinction drawn between human and non-human animals, an end to the status of animals as property, and an end to their use in the research, food, clothing, and entertainment industries.

It is one of the few examples of a social movement that was created, and is to a large extent sustained academically, by philosophers.

All animal liberationists believe that the individual interests of non-human animals deserve recognition and protection, but the movement can be split into two broad camps.

Animal rights advocates, or rights liberationists, believe that these basic interests confer moral rights of some kind on the animals, and/or ought to confer legal rights on them; see, for example, the work of Tom Regan. Utilitarian liberationists, on the other hand, do not believe that animals possess moral rights, but argue, on utilitarian grounds — utilitarianism in its simplest form advocating that we base moral decisions on the greatest happiness of the greatest number — that, because animals have the ability to suffer, their suffering must be taken into account in any moral philosophy. To exclude animals from that consideration, they argue, is a form of discrimination that they call speciesism; see, for example, the work of Peter Singer.

Despite these differences, the terms "animal liberation" and "animal rights" are generally used interchangeably."

Human rights (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_rights)

"Human rights are moral principles or norms that describe certain standards of human behaviour, and are regularly protected as legal rights in national and international law. They are commonly understood as inalienable fundamental rights "to which a person is inherently entitled simply because she or he is a human being," and which are "inherent in all human beings" regardless of their nation, location, language, religion, ethnic origin or any other status. They are applicable everywhere and at every time in the sense of being universal, and they are egalitarian in the sense of being the same for everyone. They require empathy and the rule of law and impose an obligation on persons to respect the human rights of others. They should not be taken away except as a result of due process based on specific circumstances, and require freedom from unlawful imprisonment, torture, and execution.

The doctrine of human rights has been highly influential within international law, global and regional institutions. Actions by states and non-governmental organizations form a basis of public policy worldwide. The idea of human rights suggests that "if the public discourse of peacetime global society can be said to have a common moral language, it is that of human rights." The strong claims made by the doctrine of human rights continue to provoke considerable skepticism and debates about the content, nature and justifications of human rights to this day. The precise meaning of the term right is controversial and is the subject of continued philosophical debate; while there is consensus that human rights encompasses a wide variety of rights such as the right to a fair trial, protection against enslavement, prohibition of genocide, free speech, or a right to education, there is disagreement about which of these particular rights should be included within the general framework of human rights; some thinkers suggest that human rights should be a minimum requirement to avoid the worst-case abuses, while others see it as a higher standard."

Environmentalism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Environmentalism)

"Environmentalism is a broad philosophy, ideology and social movement regarding concerns for environmental protection and improvement of the health of the environment, particularly as the measure for this health seeks to incorporate the concerns of non-human elements. Environmentalism advocates the preservation, restoration and/or improvement of the natural environment, and may be referred to as a movement to control pollution or protect plant and animal diversity. For this reason, concepts such as a land ethic, environmental ethics, biodiversity, ecology and the biophilia hypothesis figure predominantly.

At its crux, environmentalism is an attempt to balance relations between humans and the various natural systems on which they depend in such a way that all the components are accorded a proper degree of sustainability. The exact measures and outcomes of this balance is controversial and there are many different ways for environmental concerns to be expressed in practice. Environmentalism and environmental concerns are often represented by the color green, but this association has been appropriated by the marketing industries and is a key tactic of greenwashing. Environmentalism is opposed by anti-environmentalism, which says that the Earth as less fragile than some environmentalists maintain, and portrays environmentalism as overreacting to the human contribution to climate change or opposing human advancement."

Earl Nightingale - The Strangest Secret Article

Transcribed from The Strangest Secret audio program by Earl Nightingale

Earl Nightingale (March 12, 1921 – March 28, 1989) was an American motivational speaker and author, known as the "Dean of Personal Development." He was the voice in the early 1950s of Sky King, the hero of a radio adventure series, and was a WGN radio show host from 1950 to 1956. Nightingale was the author of the Strangest Secret, which economist Terry Savage has called “…One of the great motivational books of all time“.
Nightingale was born in Los Angeles in 1921. His father, Earl the 4th, abandoned his mother in 1933. After his father left, his mother moved the family to a tent in Tent City. Diana Nightingale is the widow of Earl Nightingale. Diana has continued the legacy of Earl's message and the key to success, “We Become What We Think About”.


Some years ago, the late Nobel prize-winning Dr. Albert Schweitzer was asked by a reporter, “Doctor, what’s wrong with men today?” The great doctor was silent a moment, and then he said, “Men simply don’t think!”

It’s about this that I want to talk with you. We live today in a golden age. This is an era that humanity has looked forward to, dreamed of, and worked toward for thousands of years. We live in the richest era that ever existed on the face of the earth … a land of abundant opportunity for everyone.

However, if you take 100 individuals who start even at the age of 25, do you have any idea what will happen to those men and women by the time they’re 65? These 100 people believe they’re going to be successful. They are eager toward life, there is a certain sparkle in their eye, an erectness to their carriage, and life seems like a pretty interesting adventure to them.

But by the time they’re 65, only one will be rich, four will be financially independent, five will still be working, and 54 will be broke” depending on others for life’s necessities.

Only five out of 100 make the grade! Why do so many fail? What has happened to the sparkle that was there when they were 25? What has become of the dreams, the hopes, the plans … and why is there such a large disparity between what these people intended to do and what they actually accomplished?

THE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS

First, we have to define success and here is the best definition I've ever been able to find: “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”

A success is the school teacher who is teaching because that’s what he or she wants to do. A success is the entrepreneur who start his own company because that was his dream” that’s what he wanted to do. A success is the salesperson who wants to become the best salesperson in his or her company and sets forth on the pursuit of that goal.

A success is anyone who is realizing a worthy predetermined ideal, because that’s what he or she decided to do … deliberately. But only one out of 20 does that! The rest are “failures.”

Rollo May, the distinguished psychiatrist, wrote a wonderful book called Man’s Search for Himself, and in this book he says: “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice … it is conformity.” And there you have the reason for so many failures. Conformity ” people acting like everyone else, without knowing why or where they are going.

We learn to read by the time we’re seven. We learn to make a living by the time we’re 30. Often by that time we’re not only making a living, we’re supporting a family. And yet by the time we’re 65, we haven’t learned how to become financially independent in the richest land that has ever been known. Why? We conform! Most of us are acting like the wrong percentage group — the 95 who don’t succeed.

GOALS

Have you ever wondered why so many people work so hard and honestly without ever achieving anything in particular, and why others don’t seem to work hard, yet seem to get everything? They seem to have the “magic touch.” you've heard people say, “Everything he touches turns to gold.” Have you ever noticed that a person who becomes successful tends to continue to become more successful? And, on the other hand, have you noticed how someone who’s a failure tends to continue to fail?

The difference is goals. People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. It’s that simple. Failures, on the other hand, believe that their lives are shaped by circumstances … by things that happen to them … by exterior forces.

Think of a ship with the complete voyage mapped out and planned. The captain and crew know exactly where the ship is going and how long it will take” it has a definite goal. And 9,999 times out of 10,000, it will get there.

Now let’s take another ship ” just like the first” only let’s not put a crew on it, or a captain at the helm. Let’s give it no aiming point, no goal, and no destination. We just start the engines and let it go. I think you’ll agree that if it gets out of the harbor at all, it will either sink or wind up on some deserted beach ” a derelict. It can’t go anyplace because it has no destination and no guidance.

It’s the same with a human being. However, the human race is fixed, not to prevent the strong from winning, but to prevent the weak from losing. Society today can be likened to a convoy in time of war. The entire society is slowed down to protect its weakest link, just as the naval convoy has to go at the speed that will permit its slowest vessel to remain in formation.

That’s why it’s so easy to make a living today. It takes no particular brains or talent to make a living and support a family today. We have a plateau of so-called “security.” So, to succeed, all we must do is decide how high above this plateau we want to aim.

Throughout history, the great wise men and teachers, philosophers, and prophets have disagreed with one another on many different things. It is only on this one point that they are in complete and unanimous agreement” the key to success and the key to failure is this:

WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK ABOUT

This is The Strangest Secret! Now, why do I say it’s strange, and why do I call it a secret? Actually, it isn’t a secret at all. It was first promulgated by some of the earliest wise men, and it appears again and again throughout the Bible. But very few people have learned it or understand it. That’s why it’s strange, and why for some equally strange reason it virtually remains a secret.

Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman Emperor, said: “A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.”

Disraeli said this: “Everything comes if a man will only wait … a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and nothing can resist a will that will stake even existence for its fulfillment.”

William James said: “We need only in cold blood act as if the thing in question were real, and it will become infallibly real by growing into such a connection with our life that it will become real. It will become so knit with habit and emotion that our interests in it will be those which characterize belief.” He continues, ” … only you must, then, really wish these things, and wish them exclusively, and not wish at the same time a hundred other incompatible things just as strongly.”

My old friend Dr. Norman Vincent Peale put it this way: “If you think in negative terms, you will get negative results. If you think in positive terms, you will achieve positive results.” George Bernard Shaw said: “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.”

Well, it’s pretty apparent, isn’t it? We become what we think about. A person who is thinking about a concrete and worthwhile goal is going to reach it, because that’s what he’s thinking about. Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn’t know where he’s going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety, fear, and worry will thereby create a life of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry. And if he thinks about nothing … he becomes nothing.

AS YE SOW, SO SHALL YE REAP

The human mind is much like a farmer’s land. The land gives the farmer a choice. He may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn’t care what is planted. It’s up to the farmer to make the decision. The mind, like the land, will return what you plant, but it doesn’t care what you plant. If the farmer plants too seeds” one a seed of corn, the other nightshade, a deadly poison, waters and takes care of the land, what will happen?

Remember, the land doesn’t care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the two plants” one corn, one poison as it’s written in the Bible, “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.”

The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn’t care what we plant … success … or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal … or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety, and so on. But what we plant it must return to us.

The problem is that our mind comes as standard equipment at birth. It’s free. And things that are given to us for nothing, we place little value on. Things that we pay money for, we value.

The paradox is that exactly the reverse is true. Everything that’s really worthwhile in life came to us free” our minds, our souls, our bodies, our hopes, our dreams, our ambitions, our intelligence, our love of family and children and friends and country. All these priceless possessions are free.

But the things that cost us money are actually very cheap and can be replaced at any time. A good man can be completely wiped out and make another fortune. He can do that several times. Even if our home burns down, we can rebuild it. But the things we got for nothing, we can never replace.

Our mind can do any kind of job we assign to it, but generally speaking, we use it for little jobs instead of big ones. So decide now. What is it you want? Plant your goal in your mind. It’s the most important decision you’ll ever make in your entire life.

Do you want to excel at your particular job? Do you want to go places in your company … in your community? Do you want to get rich? All you have got to do is plant that seed in your mind, care for it, work steadily toward your goal, and it will become a reality.

It not only will, there’s no way that it cannot. You see, that’s a law” like the laws of Sir Isaac Newton, the laws of gravity. If you get on top of a building and jump off, you’ll always go down” you’ll never go up.

And it’s the same with all the other laws of nature. They always work. They’re inflexible. Think about your goal in a relaxed, positive way. Picture yourself in your mind’s eye as having already achieved this goal. See yourself doing the things you will be doing when you have reached your goal.

Every one of us is the sum total of our own thoughts. We are where we are because that’s exactly where we really want or feel we deserve to be” whether we’ll admit that or not. Each of us must live off the fruit of our thoughts in the future, because what you think today and tomorrow next month and next year will mold your life and determine your future. You’re guided by your mind.

I remember one time I was driving through e a s t e r n Arizona and I saw one of those giant earth moving machines roaring along the road with what looked like 30 tons of dirt in it a tremendous, incredible machine and there was a little man perched way up on top with the wheel in his hands, guiding it. As I drove along I was struck by the similarity of that machine to the human mind. Just suppose you’re sitting at the controls of such a vast source of energy. Are you going to sit back and fold your arms and let it run itself into a ditch? Or are you going to keep both hands firmly on the wheel and control and direct this power to a specific, worthwhile purpose? It’s up to you. You’re in the driver’s seat. You see, the very law that gives us success is a doubleedged sword. We must control our thinking. The same rule that can lead people to lives of success, wealth, happiness, and all the things they ever dreamed of” that very same law can lead them into the gutter. It’s all in how they use it … for good or for bad. That is The Strangest Secret!

Do what the experts since the dawn of recorded history have told us to do: pay the price, by becoming the person you want to become. It’s not nearly as difficult as living unsuccessfully.

The moment you decide on a goal to work toward, you’re immediately a successful person you are then in that rare group of people who know where they’re going. Out of every hundred people, you belong to the top five. Don’t concern yourself too much with how you are going to achieve your goal leave that completely to a power greater than yourself. All you have to do is know where you’re going. The answers will come to you of their own accord, and at the right time.

Start today. You have nothing to lose” but you have your whole life to win.

30-DAY ACTION IDEAS FOR PUTTING THE STRANGEST SECRET TO WORK FOR YOU

For the next 30-days follow each of these steps every day until you have achieved your goal.

1. Write on a card what it is you want more that anything else. It may be more money. Perhaps you’d like to double your income or make a specific amount of money. It may be a beautiful home. It may be success at your job. It may be a particular position in life. It could be a more harmonious family.

Write down on your card specifically what it is you want. Make sure it’s a single goal and clearly defined. You needn't show it to anyone, but carry it with you so that you can look at it several times a day. Think about it in a cheerful, relaxed, positive way each morning when you get up, and immediately you have something to work for something to get out of bed for, something to live for.

Look at it every chance you get during the day and just before going to bed at night. As you look at it, remember that you must become what you think about, and since you’re thinking about your goal, you realize that soon it will be yours. In fact, it’s really yours the moment you write it down and begin to think about it.

2. Stop thinking about what it is you fear. Each time a fearful or negative thought comes into your mind, replace it with a mental picture of your positive and worthwhile goal. And there will come a time when you’ll feel like giving up. It’s easier for a human being to think negatively than positively. That’s why only five percent are successful! You must begin now to place yourself in that group.

“Act as though it were impossible to fail,” as Dorothea Brande said. No matter what your goal if you've kept your goal before you every day you’ll wonder and marvel at this new life you've found.

3. Your success will always be measured by the quality and quantity of service you render. Most people will tell you that they want to make money, without understanding this law. The only people who make money work in a mint. The rest of us must earn money. This is what causes those who keep looking for something for nothing, or a free ride, to fail in life. Success is not the result of making money; earning money is the result of success — and success is in direct proportion to our service.

Most people have this law backwards. It’s like the man who stands in front of the stove and says to it: “Give me heat and then I’ll add the wood.” How many men and women do you know, or do you suppose there are today, who take the same attitude toward life? There are millions.

We’ve got to put the fuel in before we can expect heat. Likewise, we’ve got to be of service first before we can expect money. Don’t concern yourself with the money. Be of service … build … work … dream … create! Do this and you’ll find there is no limit to the prosperity and abundance that will come to you.

Don’t start your test until you’ve made up your mind to stick with it. If you should fail during your first 30 days by that I mean suddenly find yourself overwhelmed by negative thoughts simply start over again from that point and go 30 more days. Gradually, your new habit will form, until you find yourself one of that wonderful minority to whom virtually nothing is impossible.

Above all … don’t worry! Worry brings fear, and fear is crippling. The only thing that can cause you to worry during your test is trying to do it all yourself. Know that all you have to do is hold your goal before you; everything else will take care of itself.

Take this 30-day test, then repeat it … then repeat it again. Each time it will become more a part of you until you’ll wonder how you could have ever have lived any other way. Live this new way and the floodgates of abundance will open and pour over you more riches than you may have dreamed existed. Money? Yes, lots of it. But what’s more important, you’ll have peace … you’ll be in that wonderful minority who lead calm, cheerful, successful lives.

Jim Rohn - Use Your Own Mind, Think, & Make Good Decisions!

Still one of the best people I know that will make you think.


PHILOSOPHY

Philosophy is the chief cornerstone in the foundation of The Five Major Pieces To The Life Puzzle. A major factor in determining how our lives turn out is the way we choose to think. Everything that goes on inside the human mind in the form of thoughts, ideas and information forms our personal philosophy. Our philosophy then influences our habits and behavior, and this is really where it all begins.

ATTITUDE

Our lives are greatly affected by what we know since what we know determines the decisions we will make. Just as we are affected by what we know, we are also affected by how we feel. While philosophy deals essentially with the logical side of life -- information and thinking habits -- attitude focuses primarily on the emotional issues that affect our existence. What we know determines our philosophy. How we feel about what we know determines our attitude.

It is our emotional nature that governs most of our daily conduct in our personal and business worlds. It is the emotional aspect of our experiences that determines our behavior. How we each feel about life’s events is a powerful force that can either freeze us in our tracks or inspire us to take immediate action on any given day. 

Like thoughts, emotions have the capacity to propel us toward future fortune or future disaster. The feelings we carry within us about people, our work, our homes, our finances, and about the world around us collectively form our attitude. With the right attitude human beings can move mountains. With the wrong attitude they can be crushed by the smallest grain of sand. Having the right attitude is an essential prerequisite for success and happiness. The right attitude is one of the fundamentals of the good life. That is why we must constantly examine our feelings about our role in the world and about our possibilities for achieving our dreams. The feelings that we have affect our prevailing attitude, and it is our prevailing attitude that ultimately determines the quality o our lives. Attitude is a major determining factor in how our lives turn out. Since everything in life affects everything else, we must make a careful study of everything and everyone that might be having the wrong affect on our current attitude.

ACTIVITY

There is an ancient story known as the Parable of the Talents. According to the story, one day the master of the household gathered his three servants together and announced that he would soon be going away on a long journey. Before leaving he gave each of his servants a certain number of talents. In those days a talent was worth several years’ wages to the average laborer, so each talent represented a substantial sum of money. To one servant he gave five talents; to another he gave two; and to the third he gave one talent. He cautioned the servants to look after these talents in his absence and then left. While the master was gone the servant with the five talents took them to the marketplace and traded with them until he had converted the five into ten. The second servant did the same, trading his two into four. However, the third servant, being a very cautious man, took the one talent that he had been given and buried it in the ground for safekeeping. After a time the master returned and gathered his three servants together to inquire about what they had done with the talents he had given to them. The first servant explained how he had wisely traded the five talents he had been given and presented his master with the original five plus the five he had earned. The master said to the servant: “Well done!” The second servant came forward and said that he had also traded wisely and presented his master with the original two talents he had been given plus two more. Again the master said, “Well done!” Finally the third servant stepped forward and told his story. “Fearing that I might lose your money, I carefully buried it in the ground.” He then proudly presented the master with the one talent he had been given to look after. The master took one look at the single unused talent and said, “Take the one talent from him and give it to the one who now has ten.”

Many people are not very happy with the way this story ends. After all, it does not seem fair to take the little that the third servant had and give it to the servant who had ten. But remember, life is not designed to give rewards in proportion to our level of need, it gives them in proportion to our level of deserve. The moral of this story is that whatever life has handed us, whether is one talent or a hundred, it is our responsibility to do something with what we have been given! That is how we change pennies into fortunes and obstacles into opportunity -- by taking all that we have and all that we are and putting it to work. Sooner or later we must convert knowledge and good feelings into activity. And as the parable also clearly demonstrates, the more we start with, the more we will receive for all of our disciplined work. That is why starting with a sound personal philosophy and the right attitude is so important. The more we know and the better we feel about ourselves and our opportunities, the greater our chances for success will be. But a growing awareness and a positive attitude are not enough in and of themselves. What we know and how we feel merely determine our potential for achievement. Whether we actually achieve our goals is ultimately determined by our activity. We can have a well-balanced philosophy, great depth of character, and a good attitude about life, but unless we put these valuable assets to work, we may find ourselves making more excuses than progress. What we know and how we feel are important factors that affect the quality of our lives. But remember, they re merely the foundation upon which to build a better future. Completing the rest of the picture requires action.

RESULTS

Any business or personal activity undertaken in the proper season, and combined with the passage of enough time, will produce a predictable result. The reason for the seasons is productivity, and the purpose of our activity is results. Results are the harvest that comes from our past efforts. If the farmer has planted only a handful of seeds in the spring, he cannot expect to reap a very bountiful harvest in the fall. Likewise, if a person has engaged in only minimal activity in the past, he should not expect significant results in the present. Results are always in direct proportion to effort. Those who rest in the spring do not reap in the fall, regardless of need and regardless of desire. Results are the reward reserved for those who had the foresight to seize an earlier opportunity. If the opportunity was missed, the reward will be withheld. The opportunity of springtime is brief. Opportunity approaches, arrives and then quickly passes. It does not linger; nor does it pause to look back. opportunity merely presents itself, and those who respond to its arrival with intelligent activity will realize a full measure of the desired result. All that we do determines our future results. Like the farmer who tills the soil in preparation for planting the seed, we must work to develop a sound philosophy. Like the farmer who cultivates and fertilizes his crop to destroy the weeds and nourish the growing seeds, we must strive to develop a new attitude. And like the farmer who tends his crop from morning until nightfall in anticipation of the future harvest, we must engage in labor -- in daily activity. If our past labors have produced a poor harvest, there is nothing we can do about it. We cannot alter the past. We cannot ask nature to make an exception to the rules no matter how hungry we are. Nor will nature permit us to ask the soil for an advance. The only thing we can do is to prepare for the inevitable arrival of another spring -- another opportunity -- and then plant, nourish and tend our new crop as diligently as possible, remembering the painful consequences of our past neglect. In remembering the consequences, however, we must not allow ourselves to be overcome by them. Their lessons must serve us, not overwhelm us. Throughout our lives we will experience a number of spring times and a number of harvests. Our future happiness is seldom the product of any one harvest. Rather, it is the result of scores of individual opportunities which are either well-used or sadly neglected. For our happiness lies in the accumulative effect of our past activity. This is why it is so important to study results. Checking our results on a regular basis provides us with an excellent indicator of how well we are using our opportunities. Our current results are an early indicator of what the future will likely hold in store as we continue along our present course. If our current results are satisfying, then the future will likely produce the same bountiful harvest. If our current results are not as we would like them to be, then we need to take a closer look at those factors that may have nudged or even pushed us in the wrong direction.

LIFESTYLE

The final blending of our philosophy, attitude, activity and results is what creates this final personal quest that we call lifestyle. Lifestyle is how we choose to live and how we design our lives. It is the sophisticated understanding of the difference between life’s trinkets and life’s treasures. Many have learned to earn well, but they have not yet learned to live well. It’s as though they have decided to wait until they become wealthy before they start practicing sophistication. What they fail to understand is that practiced sophistication is as much a cause of wealth as it is a result of wealth. Some attribute their poor attitude about life to their low level of income. They maintain that if they ever solved their money problems, they would show us what happiness is really all about. Obviously, they have not yet discovered that it was their failure to find happiness in the past that has affected their current income. If they continue with this error in judgment, their lack of happiness in the present will determine their future income as well. Until they have discovered that happiness is part of the cause and that wealth is merely an effect, their circumstances are not likely to change.

DEVELOPING A SENSE OF URGENCY

In summarizing all that we have shared in this book, perhaps it would be accurate to say that our ultimate success or failure depends on three fundamental things:

What we know;
How we feel about what we know, and;
What we do with, and about, all that we feel and all that we know.

But there is another fundamental that must be mastered if we are truly serious about making meaningful changes in our lives. This last fundamental is the glue that holds together all of the pieces to the life puzzle. You see, it is quite possible that even after applying all of the principles we have discussed in this book, some people will still fall far short of their objectives. Despite all of their efforts to refine their philosophy, to develop an attitude that is conducive to success, to work harder on themselves, to study their results, and to live a more unique lifestyle, all that they dream of becoming, seeing, having and experiencing may still elude them. Why would those who seem to be serious about making these important changes still be wandering around in circles rather than moving ahead? Why would those who are planting their seeds fail to reap a bountiful harvest?

Chivalrous That Can Never Die Of A True Gentleman

Many people believe that chivalry is dead. Indeed, it seems that the quintessential gentleman exemplified in the likes of Cary Grant and James Bond was left behind in a past era. However, just because it is hard to find a gentleman does not mean that they do not exist. Guys, take note, women love men who behave like gentlemen. Chivalry IS, in fact, dead when the gentleman no longer understands the meaning behind his chivalrous acts. When actions no longer come from within, but are forced and religious, the inner gentleman dies and so does chivalry.

Arrive on time. If this were an interview for a job you would be sure to arrive five minutes early, well-prepared and ready to go. Deciding on a partner to share your life with is far more important than a job, so be punctual. If an emergency arrives that will make you tardy, call (do not text) her to let her know. A gentleman is his word. Traffic is not an excuse for being late to a date. A good man plans in advance. Don’t keep her waiting.

Be hygienic. This rule does not just apply when going on dates, but at all times. Never leave your home without brushing your teeth and hair, applying a fresh coat of deodorant and quick spray of cologne and washing your face and hands. If a potential girlfriend notices dirty fingernails or un-brushed teeth, she may feel concerned that you are unable to take care of yourself and imagine that you will need reminders to keep up with basic hygiene.

Be confident and classy. When we think about confident men, usually two images come to mind. The first is of the overly-cocky macho male who will order a salad for his date, and no, she does not want any dressing. This kind of arrogant dominant male type is one that many women avoid when choosing a life partner. The second kind is confident in his abilities, but does not brag about them. This kind of guy is honest, self-aware and comfortable in his own skin. Be that guy.

Engage in conversation. Keep the dialogue between you and your date rolling with good questions and listen to her answers. A good conversationalist does not just let an awkward silence roll over the dinner table, but rather maintains momentum and keeps the dialogue flowing. Avoid too many questions and closed-statements, and always favor the other person speaking while you listen with rapt attention. There is no formula for a good conversation – this is something that comes when you are wholeheartedly involved in speaking with and listening to the other person.

Play the part. There are several gestures that will convey your sophistication and chivalry to your date. These include, but are not limited to:

Pick up the check always and without hesitation. The modern lady may not think twice about splitting the check, but the gentleman in you should. Though some condemn the behavior of picking up the tab as archaic and patronizing, many relationship experts agree that most women will not see it this way and will instead be impressed. (Of course, if she wants to treat you from time to time, that is okay as well). An English gentleman never split the meal with his date. The English used the term “go dutch” in “derisive application,” as they stereotyped the Dutch as being cheap, or “stingy.” Today, the gentleman always picks up the tab, especially on the first date, and with no expectations.

Open doors for her. These include the car door, cab door, restaurant door, etc. A guy who takes the time to come around and open the car door for you is a keeper, not to mention a commodity this winter. Recognize and appreciate a guy who puts your comfort and well-being first, even if it’s just for a few extra seconds. A gentleman would help her up into the carriage as a sign of his protection and strength. Women would hold their dresses up as they were often long and heavy. The gentleman opened the door for her so she couldn't have to drop her dress in the dirt.

The modern gentleman helps her in and out of the car to stand in the way of creepy gawkers. Opening a door for her is not a sign she is weak, but a gesture of affection.

Treat the staff well. This applies to anywhere you and your date visit. Tip appropriately and discreetly, and always treat those serving you with respect.

Enter a cab or restaurant booth first. Though it may seem more proper to let her in first, a woman wearing a skirt or dress will appreciate it if you do not make her scoot to the other side of the seat.

Offer your arm: This is a classy alternative to holding hands that reveals your sophistication.

Put away your phone during dates and avoid glancing at it or your watch, as these gestures convey boredom and impatience.

Saving the last bite of food. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So, when he saves the last bite for you, it’s basically him saying he likes you more than whatever meal is in front of him. Which, for the record, is a lot.

Spending time with your family. A guy who shows an interest in your baby photos, coaches your little brother on how to throw a football and compliments your mother’s cooking is a guy who’s in it for the long haul. These are small gestures, but they speak volumes about his intentions.

Suffering through a girly movie. When a man volunteers to endure a girly show or movie because he knows you’ll enjoy it, he earns major bonus points. (Even more if he does so without complaining or expecting something in return.)

Sending flowers. I’m not talking about the $100 bouquet you get on Valentine’s Day. I’m talking about the grocery store assortment he picked up on a random Tuesday while thinking of you. There’s just something about unexpected flowers that makes a girl smile.

Walking on the outside of the sidewalk. The first time someone does this, you will probably be confused. But then you’ll start to question how come other men in your life have never been concerned about positioning themselves in such a way that you’d be protected should curbside tragedy strike.

Why is the pea coat symbolic of the gentleman? Before our drainage systems, a man stood on the outside of the sidewalk in a long coat to protect her from the dust and sewage that could splash up as horse carriages passed by. Sewage was common in the streets. The picture of the man laying his coat over a puddle for her to walk over meant he was protecting her feet from fecal material more than rain water.

Kissing your forehead. Sure, if you’re hoping to date someone and he does this, it can be a dreaded sign of sibling-like affection.

But, if you’re in a long-term relationship and your guy does this, it’s a small gesture that can make you feel adored.

Filling up your gas tank. Much like walking on the outside of a sidewalk, this gesture will probably surprise you the first time it’s performed.

It’s indicative of a man who was raised right and is generally courteous, which is always a welcome surprise.

Putting your jacket on. Women are fully capable of putting their own jackets on, but it’s not a question of ability. It’s gentlemanly and kind for someone to hold out your jacket for you or offer you theirs when it’s cold.

These are little ways men show they care, the same way women have instincts to nurture and protect loved ones.

He helps her put on/take off her coat
Up through the Edwardian period, women wore multiple layers, and beneath them a restricting corset. A gentleman would help his lady put on and take off her coat because of her restricted movement.

Corsets are not common today, but many women still enjoy the help of a gentleman.

He stands when she walks in the room. In the old days, men stood out of respect when a lady, dignitary, or elderly person walked in the room. It was a sign of respect and humbleness. Today, men stand out of courtesy when a guest visits a meeting. A gentleman will stand from his table when he’s introduced to a guest. Standing for her shows you are attentive and you care.

Today, a gentleman might stand in the way of puddles splashing up from buses, or in the event a car veers onto the sidewalk. Symbolically it might mean he’ll always be by her side, through thick and thin, and will protect her from anything.

He never criticizes a home-made meal. An out-loud criticism of a meal as a guest was considered disrespectful to the host. If anyone takes the time and effort to make a dinner, they are your host. Honor them. Smile and chew.

He doesn't LOL. “Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill-manners…”Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman (1746). He might write an “LOL” over text in the present, but a gentleman doesn't have to be loud to command attention. He commands attention through his strong character.

He pulls out her chair. It was common for the gentleman to pull out her chair and allow her to face the open room. Today, the gentleman pulls out her seat, and sits facing away from the crowd and the TV because he doesn't want to be distracted from his priority when he forgets to take his Ritalin.

He sits after she sits. “…and at the table wait until she is seated, indeed wait until every lady is seated, before taking your own place” The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness (1860). Talk show hosts continue this tradition today by waiting to sit until after their guest has taken their seat. If Oprah does it, so can you. She’s your guest. Allow her to sit first.

He doesn't walk ahead of her. Because ladies wore long dresses and could trip on them, the gentleman walked behind her when climbing a staircase. Tumbling down a flight of stairs isn't a good way to end a date. Today, the gentleman follows this etiquette rule because she might be wearing long heels or a long dress. This is another sign of him protecting her. However, she may want him to walk up stairs first if she’s wearing a short skirt.

He gives up his seat to her if there is only standing room. A gentleman offers his seat to a lady if there are no other seats on the bus/train. I’m talking to you…the dude who wouldn't give his seat up to the pregnant lady.

He carries her bags. A gentleman will help her carry her bags today, and when flying, will assist others in putting their luggage in the overhead compartments.

He holds an umbrella over her when it rains. It was common for a younger person to hold an umbrella for an older person. When it rains, the gentleman holds an umbrella over her and doesn't mind getting a little wet.
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He keeps her secrets. A gentleman will always keep a secret, especially the one entrusted to him by the woman of his dreams. Should a break-up happen, the gentleman can still be trusted.

He walks her home or to safety. A true gentleman will walk her to her car or home to this day because he’s concerned for her safety.

He listens to her. “To be a good listener is as indispensable as to be a good talker…” The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness (1860). A gentleman always listens because he wants to deeply get to know her.

He compliments her. She spent a lot of time getting ready, so a gentleman always compliments. He doesn't play on her insecurities. Negging is for creeps.

He would never dream of hitting ANY woman. “…the greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest woman” Martine’s Handbook (1866). The same rules apply today. It doesn't matter if you are Chris Brown or Ray Rice, a gentleman finds no excuse to hit a woman…no matter what.

He asks her father for her hand in marriage. In Victorian days, a gentleman would have to show his coat of arms, or his credentials to her father to show he was a worthy man for marriage. The 21st century gentleman asks her father for her hand because it’s respectful and courteous

Bottom line is, there are many rules of etiquette. While they might not be deal-breakers anymore, she will still be impressed with your knowledge and charm.

Chivalry is not dead; men can be everyday knights in shining armor. You just have to learn to spot the subtle, more meaningful gestures.

John C. Maxwell - From Ordinary to Extraordinary

John Calvin Maxwell (born 1947) is an American author, speaker, and pastor who has written more than 60 books (in his book Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn, Maxwell claims that he has published 71 different books), primarily focusing on leadership. Titles include The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader: Becoming the Person Others Will Want to Follow. His books have sold more than nineteen million copies, with some on the New York Times Best Seller List.

THE DISTANCE BETWEEN ORDINARY AND EXTRAORDINARY IS SHORTER THAN YOU THINK!

What do you think of when I say the word “ordinary?” These are the words that come to my mind: Common. Usual. Normal. Boring. Average. Something you see everyday.

What about “extraordinary?” I think of: Amazing. Incredible. Uncommon. Unusual. Special. Above average. New.

This little exercise might seem to indicate that there is a huge gap between being ordinary and being extraordinary. It might lead you to believe that if you’re an ordinary person with an ordinary job, you have no hope of ever achieving success or doing something that really makes a difference.

In the English language, only five little letters separate “ordinary” from “extraordinary:” extra. And while “extra” can be defined as “outside,” in English it also means “just a little bit more.”

The word we use is not as important as the idea: the distance between ordinary and extraordinary is shorter than you think. For too long, people have thought there was a huge gap between normal and special. They’ve assumed that “above average” was far above “average.” Unfortunately, once you believe that, it’s easy to conclude that since you’re “average,” you’ll never be anything else; that there’s no way to claw your way up to “above average.”

Think of it in terms of professional baseball. If a player on your favorite team had a lifetime batting average of .340, you would consider him to be an extraordinary hitter—definite Hall of Fame material. At the same time, if another player on the same team consistently averaged around .240, you would probably think he was just okay—if you even knew who he was at all.
There would be worlds of difference between these two players when it came to fan recognition, playing time, and, of course, salary. But think about it. What do their batting averages really say about these players? For every 10 visits to the batter’s box, the first player gets a hit 3.4 times, compared with 2.4 times for the second player.

I’m here to tell you that you’ve made the gap too wide. In life, an extraordinary performance is often separated from an ordinary one by the slightest of margins. What if your ordinary life could become extraordinary with only the smallest of changes? Would it be worth trying?

Percentage-wise, that’s not a great difference. And that’s my point. In baseball, as in other areas of life, there’s not much difference between ordinary and extraordinary. But that little bit makes a huge difference in four key areas. Extraordinary individuals:
• Garner more respect.
• Add more value to other people.
• Make much more money.
• Are perceived differently by the people around them.

Here are some “extras” that can help you close the gap between ordinary and extraordinary:

A little extra effort. There is a price to be paid for achievement. Sometimes it’s a large price. But sometimes just a little extra effort can yield significant results. What price are you willing to pay for success?

A little extra time. To give something time, we need something other than perseverance. We need patience with the process of growth. I believe that many of us overestimate events and underestimate the process. But we’ve got it all wrong. As I wrote in the Law of Process in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, leaders develop daily, not in a day.

A little extra help. I love this saying: “If you see a turtle on top of a fence post, you know he had help getting there!” Why do I love it? Because I’m a turtle on a fencepost. I know that I didn’t get to where I am in life on my own. I’m just not that smart, gifted, or fast. The truth is that those who reached “extraordinary” had help getting there. And many types of success can only be achieved with help. If you refuse to ask for – or accept – it, you limit yourself and your work to a lower level of achievement.

A little extra attitude. You see, motivation determines what you do, ability determines what you’re capable of doing, and attitude determines how well you do it. When I see a person operating with excellence, I know it’s because he or she has a good attitude. In writing about the Olympics, the late sports columnist Jim Murray commented that, in the history of the Games, the difference between gold medalists and silver medalists in all the timed events was less than one-tenth of a second. “That’s not ability,” he said. “That’s attitude.”

A little extra planning. Robert Eliot, a cardiology professor at the University of Nebraska, has some great advice about this. He said, “It’s important to run not on the fast track, but on your track,” “Pretend you have only six months to live, and make three lists: the things you have to do, want to do, and neither have to do nor want to do. Then, for the rest of your life, forget everything on the third list.” What does it take to come up with such lists? A little extra planning.
You might think of yourself as pretty ordinary right now, but what would happen if you moved your life up just one notch? What would happen if you added a little extra in any of these areas? Remember—the distance between ordinary and extraordinary is not that great, but the resulting difference in your life when you make that leap could be far greater than you could even imagine.

Remember that ordinary and extraordinary are not far apart. If you accomplish just one of the above “extras,” your work will begin to be above average in that area.
If Ordinary People …
Gave a Little Extra Effort,
Spent a Little Extra Time,
Sought a Little Extra Help …
They Would Become Extraordinary!
 

Ken Blanchard - One Minute Manager

Kenneth Hartley Blanchard (born May 6, 1939) is an American author and management expert. His book The One Minute Manager (co-authored with Spencer Johnson) has sold over 13 million copies and has been translated into 37 languages. He has coauthored over 30 other best-selling books, including Raving Fans: A Revolutionary Approach To Customer Service (1993), Leadership and the One Minute Manager: Increasing Effectiveness Through Situational Leadership (1985) (in which he coined the term seagull manager), Gung Ho! Turn On the People in Any Organization (1997), Whale Done! The Power of Positive Relationships (2002) and Leading at a Higher Level: Blanchard on Leadership and Creating High Performing Organizations (2006).

One Minute Manager can be found at: http://www.kenblanchard.com/Store/Books_Audios/The_One_Minute_Manager_Essentials/One_Minute_Manager_The/

The One Minute Manager is a 100 page story that have some of the best gems that can be used in life and management there are One Minute Goal Setting, One Minute Praisings, One Minute Reprimand. Despite the title, The One Minute Manager is not a book simply for managers.  Certainly, it has brilliant strategy on how to effectively (and efficiently) work with employees.  However, the reason for this book’s tremendous global success is the universally applicable nature of the message.  This is a book for managers and employees, parents with children, co-workers, housemates, classmates and married couples.  And I mean that quite sincerely.

One Minute Goal Setting:

One Minute Goal Setting: outlining, with the employee specific goals, benchmarks and consequences (good and bad). One Minute Goal Setting is the first secret and the foundation for One Minute Management. The authors advocate the 80-20 goal-setting rule: that 80% of your really important results will come from 20% of your goals. How do you get people truly excited about their work? Make it clear what is expected of them. One Minute Goal Setting is simply:

1. Agree on your goals.
2. See what good behavior looks like.
3. Write out each of your goals on a single sheet of paper using less than 250 words.
4. Read and re-read each goal, which requires only a minute or so each time you do it.
5. Take a minute every once in a while out of your day to look at your performance, and
6. See whether or not your behavior matches your goal.

Those Who Feel Good, Do Good

“People Who Feel Good About Themselves Produce Good Results”

“He looks you straight in the eye and tells you precisely what you did right. Then he shares with you how good he feels about what you did.”

One Minute Praisings:

One Minute Praisings: Catching someone doing something right, and recognizing them for it. One Minute Praisings is the second secret. The authors suggest that effective managers help people reach their full potential by catching them doing something right. "People who feel good about themselves produce good results." The One Minute Praising works well when you:

1. Tell people up front that you are going to let them know how they are doing.
2. Praise people immediately.
3. Tell people what they did right - be specific.
4. Tell people how good you feel about what they did right, and how it helps the organization and the other people who work there.
5. Stop for a moment of silence to let them "feel" how good you feel.
6. Encourage them to do more of the same.
7. Shake hands or touch people in a way that makes it clear that you support their success in the organization.

Feedback is the Breakfast of Champions

“Most managers wait until their people do something exactly right before they praise them.  As a result, many people never get to become high performers because their managers concentrate on catching them doing things wrong – that is, anything that falls short of the final desired performance.”

One Minute Reprimand:

One Minute Reprimands: Catching unproductive or negative behavior immediately, and explaining to the employee what the consequences have been. One Minute Reprimand is the third and final secret to effective managing. "Clearly the number one motivator of people is feedback on results." Feedback is the breakfast of champions. The One Minute Reprimand works well when you:

1. Tell people beforehand that you are going to let them know how they are doing and in no uncertain terms. 

• The first half of the reprimand:

1. Reprimand them immediately. [reprimand the behavior only, not the person or their worth]
2. Tell people what they did wrong - be specific.
3. Tell people how you feel about what they did wrong - and in no uncertain terms.
4. Stop for a few seconds of uncomfortable silence to let them feel how you feel.

• the second half of the reprimand:

1. Shake hands, or touch them in a way that lets them know you are honestly on their side.
2. Remind them how much you value them.
3. Reaffirm that you think well of them but not of their performance in this situation.
4. Realize that when the reprimand is over, it's over.

The Nature of Complaint

“If you can’t tell me what you’d like to be happening, he said, you don’t have a problem yet.  You’re just complaining.  A problem only exists if there is a difference between what is actually happening and what you desire to be happening.”

The authors write that, as a manager, there are three choices when it comes to getting the most out of an employee:

1. Hire a winner (can be hard to find and expensive to hire and keep)
2. Hire someone with potential to be a winner and then systematically train them
3. Prayer

They suggest that option 2 is best. However, isn't it ironic that most companies spend 50-70% of their money on people's salaries and yet they spend less than 1% of their budget to train their people?

It has been said that "The best minute I spend is the one I invest in people." Effective managers manage themselves and the people they work with so that both the organization and the people profit from their presence. So, in summary, how can you give yourself and others "the gift" of getting greater results in less time? 1) Set goals; 2) Praise and reprimand behaviors; 3) Encourage people; 4) Speak the truth; 5) Laugh, work, enjoy!

"Everyone is a potential winner. Some people are disguised as losers...don't let their appearance fool you."